Au Pair, Nanny and Host-Family Complaints

Complaint Against lily, Chinese Family

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Complaint   >> Posted: Dec 27 '17 by Karen in Istanbul, Turkey

I worked for this family for five weeks. I do not recommend any nanny or aupair or housekeeper to work for this family. Since i left the job, the lady has changed her profile here to make it seem like a different family, but nobody should fall for this trick. Her name is Xiaoli Li, and not Lily as her profile says. The first red flag is that this woman asked for my original passport or original ID, she wanted to confiscate it and keep it in her house for as long as i worked there, despite that i did not live in her house. I refused, but every so often she would ask again. I refused, i had already given her copies of my passport and ID and this are enough; also it is illegal to confiscate anyone's original passport or ID from them. Second, this woman's children are never disciplined and are extremely ill mannered. They hit, yell and scream, bite, throw tantrums, stand ON TOP of the table during dinner and the boy in particular spat in my plate during dinner on several occasions. The mother does not discipline them, she told me that she often BEAT (she said it is common for parents to beat their children in her culture) the boy while he was younger, but since she stopped she does not discipline in any other way. However, she would regularly scream and yell at the children when she was angry. In this family, it is ok to scream and yell at each other in anger. when i first started working, this woman told me after a few days that i was not allowed to be on the phone AT ALL. Also, i spent all day (10 hours) standing, as she allocated duties to be performed all day, no time was given to rest. I complained after a week that my feet were swollen and hurt, and she allowed me to take some rest during the day. If you do not demand for your right to rest, this woman will work you to death.I also told her i would need to reply to important messages or phone calls. My father had recently passed away, i was not going to ignore my family's phone calls or messages because a clingy employer says so. Finally, this woman is a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. One evening, as i was working, the boy walked up behind me and punched me. i did not speak to him, instead i immediately left the room and reported the issue to his mother. The boy followed me saying he was sorry. I discussed the issue with his mother then went back to working. The next day was my off day, and Xiaoli sent me a message on watsapp that she was sorry she had to terminate the contract immediately as her son did not want to get along with me. She asked me if i expected her to send her son to jail for punching me, and said that i was "acting crazily" as if someone committed a crime. She did not discipline her son or tell him in my presence that what he did was wrong. Instead she screamed at him for over half an hour while he continued to cry very loudly. I asked her why she was firing me yet i did nothing wrong, She apologized to me and said she was not firing me, she was sorry that she was terminating the contract etc. She said she "felt defeated in teaching her children" and that she cried. Anyway, i told her she would need to pay me in lieu of notice as we had signed in the contract. She immediately blocked me. Two days later i sent her an email asking for the pay for days worked and pay in lieu of notice. Thats when her lies began. She wrote to me saying that i showed a "very angry face" and gestures to her son and that he suffered mental damage as a result of that and was afraid and that he apologized but i did not look at him or talk to him. I told her we both knew she was lying, and asked her to explain what angry face i showed and when exactly i did it, as well as what gestures she was talking about. I am black, and this woman had told me while i was working at her house, that black people are aggressive and violent, that thats what the tv shows. So i was very interested in hearing what angry face and gestures i showed, but as she was lying, she did not care to explain or give proof. i also asked her to show proof of diagnosis and treatment for her son's "mental damage". She did not explain or give proof. Neither did she explain why she had not mentioned this at the time she fired me (she apologized while firing me, she said nothing about angry faces or gestures. She told me regularly while i worked at her house that the kids liked me and i worked well). Instead, she told me she was not going to pay and that i can take her to court. After many emails, more than a week later, she sent me part of the money for days worked, and deducted a day i worked, saying i was not entitled to a sick day off she had given me the previous month, as i had only worked for a month according to her. The contract said i was entitled to three days paid sick off. She then sent me an email saying she was afraid i would harass her or her family. Paranoia. She did not allow me to collect my book (personal item) that i had left at her house, neither did she send it to me. Conclusion: This