Complaint Against maryline, French Au Pair
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Complaint >> Posted: Apr 12 '06 by Nina in Karnataka, India |
| Ms. Maryline Billot was hired by our family, American expats currently living in India, as an au pair – as well as someone who would introduce our children (toddler twins) to the French language. Prior to her arrival on March 2nd, we had had extensive (6 months) telephone conversations with her concerning her child care abilities and philosophies, her duties and adapting to life in India. Impressed by the dialogues, her alleged years of experience, coupled with the perceived maturity and responsibility that we believed would come given her age we were extremely excited about her arrival.
We were horribly deceived.
Based on her inability to communicate with and handle our children, it appears that Ms. Billot appears to have little to no experience in managing toddler children in the capacity of “Nanny/Au Pair” (i.e. on a full time basis), and we strongly suspect that whatever experience she did have was more of the “babysitter” nature. She did not appear able to keep the children safe (not paying attention when they were running up and down the stairs, leaving them in the garden). In fact, when we reminded her that being with toddlers requires one to be proactive in anticipating the dangers that they may find themselves in she responded with a snippy “Well, I don’t think that I can do that”. Further, simple requests concerning the care of the children (i.e. change the diapers) by me, the mother, were always met with a belligerent reply rather than a friendly “I’ll do it right away”.
While we were on holiday, my final request to her (“Please don’t wear perfume around the children” – she wore lots of perfume, which attracts mosquitos in a malaria prone area) resulted in flippant “I quit”. When confronted she admitted that she was not accustomed to working with the mother present – which we find surprising since she knew from the outset that I would be almost always present.
Additionally, a foreigner living in the third world requires understanding of and taking precaution against the very real risks that can occur, simply because one is perceived to be “rich” and naïve foreigner. Rapes, robberies, kidnapping and mob retribution for perceived injuries are very real concerns. Ms. Billot stubbornly refused to abide by the common sense rules that we all (meaning the expat community) here must unfortunately live by. We believe that she thought romantically thought herself as the “independent” who would rise above this. Perhaps a noble notion, but not when two little children are put at risk. One example (of many) was when she went running to the park to bring medicine to one of the newly encountered laborers there (with whom there was no lingua franca). I tried to explain to her that you are not a doctor and simply can not dispense medicine to strangers – especially illiterate strangers who might end up taking the whole package of pills to feel better faster, and if should something have gone wrong the laborer’s family would have sought retribution, but was met with angry retort from Maryline. We have the impression that she thought we were constantly stifling her freedom.
Finally, based on conversations that we have had with others since her departure, it seems that Ms. Billot came her not with the goal of being the best nanny/au pair she could be, but as part of a planned world tour (at our expense) in order to find herself and maybe even a husband (based on internet procured attempted hookups). Yet, while here she refused to adapt to cultural and family surrounding, causing us to extend a tremendous amount of emotional energy to manage the situation and prevent her, and our family from being put at risk. |
Comment >> Posted: Apr 14 '06 by maryline in Franche-Comte, France
I would like to precise the reality of the work conditions I met , arriving at this family .
First of all , my employers asked me to observe for a week what was going on , in the house , without getting involved : then after that week , I 've been reproached my lack of involvement !
As soos as I arrived I started speaking french with the girls , finally , my employers asked me to change what had been planed , and speak english , to tell me , 3 days later " that it was , maybe time to start speaking french !" .Mrs Dmitrieff Mehta does not seem to know how manage with an Au Pair ! All day long the schedule is being changed , leaving the employees waiting for some decisions to be made .
Mrs wants her 2 girls to , permanantly , be surrounded by 2 adults , what becomes , most of the time , 3 or 4 nannies , arround the girls , that leaves a very few room for the Au Pair to fit in . As a profesionnal , I think it's insane for those 2 children to get distracted by so many persons , at the same time . Mrs , despite what had been said in the ad , is most of the time out . The reality is totally different from what mentioned in the profile .
It seems that Mrs prefers manage a team of nurses than her own daughters .
This changing situation leads to a non respect of the days off , or just simply ,their cancellation .
As for the commodities : despite what promised , after some weeks , I still did not have a cell phone , I could not stay in touch with the family , in case of emergency with the girls . I was supposed to have a free access to internet , which turned to be accessible at night , after 10 PM , or before 8 AM , when the family computer was free .
I tried , several times to explain the difficulties I encountered in this job , with my employers , they answered with a sarcastic " it's not our business , you are paid for this " .
The night of my arrival , I was choqued by what she asked her husband : she promised him to stop smoking if he accepted to fire the cook ! She could not do it , because , as she said , the cook made her think about an old granny ! Following those words , she turned to me and said that in their couple , her husband used to play the " bad guy " with employees , while she was the " good " one . How could I handle such sentences , being an employee myself ? What was I supposed to say ?
Prior the 6 months before my coming , Dmitrieff tried to get involved , in a " friendly " way , in my private life , telling me , for instance , not to forget to bring condoms , or asking me if I was ready to have children by an FIV ! What I thought was intrusive .
Mr and Mrs Dmitrieff Mehta , tried , many times to have me cancell some dates I had . It seemed they did not wanted me to go out of the house . And despite what their profile said , they never let me go out with the driver .
Because I was afraid for my own security , I told the family that I prefered to resign , as I had previous said , I would stay until they found someone else for the Au Pair position . One week later , Dmitrieff was telling me that I was leaving India the day after , without notice , and without giving me time to get my return organised .
In conclusion , I am choqued about what happened in India , and the way this family treats its employees , but above all , I am choqued about slanderous and insulting words written in their complaint letter. Thoses allegations are false , I 've never had problems with the french families I worked for , for the last 13 years . I can provide references .
Maryline .
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Appended >> Posted: May 11 '06 by Nina in Karnataka, India
Maryline came to work in our house on March 2nd. She stayed for 5 weeks.
The 1st week that she was here we gave her a paid week “off” to adjust to the new family and environment. We took her to 5 star hotels for meals and introduced her to friends as an equal. I showed her around Bangalore.
We established working hours: 40 hours a week; 5 days a week; 8:30AM-12:30PM and 2:30PM-6:30PM. She was never asked to work overtime and NEVER asked to work a day off. When I was hospitalized she volunteered to work on her day off, and was compensated with a free day the following week. We paid her $300 a week.
She was provided with a comfortable room with antique furnishings, a private bath and cable TV. The room/bath were cleaned, the bed made, fresh flowers placed in her room, laundry washed, ironed and returned DAILY. All meals were prepared to her specifications by our cook. We, and the staff, treated her like a guest.
She had ready access to the family computer during ALL non-working hours. Her comment about using the computer before 10PM is nonsense: she was already in bed by that time (the 2nd week she began eating dinner by herself at 7PM, then locking herself in her room with the telephone.) She had unlimited landline access to call home (France), which she took advantage of almost daily. Her cell phone claim is more nonsense: we offered to buy her a phone, she preferred her French one. My husband provided her with a paid SIM card. There was an issue with the SIM not being compatible with her phone, unresolved at the time of her departure.
She had full use of the car and driver during free hours when it was not used by my husband. She enjoyed being driven around by her personal “chauffer”, as she bragged to her friends. The only time she was denied was when she wanted the driver to pick her up at a disco at 12AM. My husband said no – it too late to keep the driver out, and discos are illegal here-it was raided and shut down that evening.
I was hospitalized with Typhoid the 2nd week. Aside from the time I spent touring Bangalore with Maryline it was ONLY during this hospital stay that I was away from my children. This week she was on duty, with our ONE other day Nanny. The Nanny-and staff in the house were not comfortable with Maryline believing that she had little experience and natural rapport with toddlers. The children were also not comfortable. I do have a rule that 2 adults must be with the children – we have 2 active 21 month old toddlers, 3 dogs, marble floors and a house that does not baby proof well.
This week Maryline met the Director of Alliance Francaise. He advised her to avoid dating local men and about local customs. He corroborated what we had already advised her: a 33 year old foreign woman does not date unknown 25 year old local men met on random chat rooms. We never stopped her from dating, only urged her to be cautious.
She writes that she was concerned for her safety, yet she was the only one who showed utter disregard for safe practices in a 3rd World country. We also find it lacking credibility given that she called our home a “fortress”, and knew that we had 24 security guards on premises (in addition to camera surveillance).
Condoms are available here. Tampons are not, and TAMPONS are what she was advised to bring. Had she used the tampons she would not have ruined the mattress at my in-laws house, which she literally left a bloody-mess (with no effort to clean) to be discovered by my inlaws.
The 3rd week I was home, recovering. She came to us about the children not responding to her- we suggested that she not speak English to them rather than French until they were more comfortable. We also gave her tips on dealing with children - a communication we felt was odd given her alleged years of experience.
The 4th and 5th weeks, we traveled with Maryline and our Nanny to my inlaws. After she abruptly quit, my husband made arrangements for Maryline to return to France upon our return- as everything, fully paid by us.
Once she left we reviewed her resume and references, discovering that her last “au pair” job was over 10 years ago: she worked for 3 families in Ireland over a period of several months. We also realized that she never worked as a full-time nanny, but babysat for older children after school. I should have been more thorough, but we interviewed her for 6 months and thought she came across so agreeably.
To put an end to her libel we have documented proof: telephone records, computer records, and emails left on our computer (detailing up to the end the wonderful time she was having) in addition to many witnesses, who confirm that the bottom line was that she was incapable of responsibly caring for children and unwilling to sacrifice independence for family life.
As I told her, I am not a bed and breakfast for wayward 33 year olds trying to find themselves through the romance of India (at my expense).
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